Best Man Speech Funny & Inspirational -- Marriage

I am going to keep this linguistic process fairly niggling because of my throat, Pooja said that if I made fun of the groom too much she would cut it.Pooja, you look absolutely gorgeous radiant. I saw Salim swell with overcharge when he saw you today. He is truly a lucky man to produce someone so attractive, intelligent, warm and caring. A wife who will be all he could ever wish for, and more. And my little brotherwell well youve lastly done it after 30 geezerhood of endless soulsearching youve finally taken the plunge and admitted that I am very the go around man. Thank you for giving in. Its been a long struggle and the best man has won. And at a time I hope you dont mind if I kick you while youre down Ive been waiting for this chance for 30 years, and have been building up a portfolio of all the crude, rude and lewd things Salim got up to over the years. So.. we have a bald filmmaker and a short attorney getting married a comedians dream but I promised salim that I wouldnt mention the word short or bald in this speech plus, pooja is actually quite tall for a 7 year old Anyways Let me tell you a little story it begins about 5 years ago A day Ill always remember when Priten, Poojas brother, came home to a party which my sister Tasreen held, with his two lifelong loves Pooja and a nursing bottle of Jack Daniels. We all thought that Pooja was his girlfriend, but as the night progressed, we noticed Priten paying much more attention to Jack and Pooja was left unattended posing on the balcony stairs Salim came onto the scene, baseball cap carefully placed to cover his bald spot, surveyed the terrain and pounced on the stair next to Pooj Pooja was startled hi Salim said, you have really nice feet Poojas startled... ...ratulations on the termination of your isolation, and may I express my appreciation of your determination to end the desparation and frustration that has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make this u nification and bring an accumulation to the population. So as I end my toast to this occasion, and wrap up my salutation, I enter my glass to this combination, and bid good luck to the consummation So cheers, and on with the celebrationNow, Id like to think that Salim chose Sachin and me to be joint best men so that we could both be by his side on his wedding day. But I really think that he only picked us for the wedding photos. Me, so hed look slimmer, and Sachin, so hed look taller. You see what I mean in a moment Sachen has been Salims oldest friend, and is an honorary Keshavjee and has a few lyric to say over to you Sachin